Pulling the bouy to shore

Pulling the bouy to shore

Restless,

Bobbing along the surface,

Threatening to capsize and sink

Above and below the surface at the same time

The wind sprays water against my face,

And she thinks I am crying for her

The moon light breaks through and keeps me awake

I am restless and feeling as if I will capsize

And never be able to do it over

I have to let go,

I wait for the evening man

To motor out along side me

Motor out and drag me along the surface

And to the shore

Drag me along the shore

And pull me up on the surface of the sand

I can hear the scratching sound

I feel as if I should walk up the path

And knock on her door

And tell her to come out and play

Aware of my breath

(Originally written in 2003, but am in the process of moving over to WordPress)

Always aware of my breath,

Starting when I hit the ground,

Stared up at cousin,

Who brought me back to life.

Always aware of my breath,

At a face off to calm down,

Swimming the length of the lake,

Or lying on my back in pain.

Always aware of my breath,

Especially in the afternoon sun,

When I lie on my back,

Put my hands on my chest and

Fill them as I inhale

I have always been aware of my breath,

even though they never stopped and thought about the rest.

Need priorities

Struggling to establish goals and get traction in certain projects. I am facing a few options. They include Leadership/Team Coaching, Bad Mood Mom, Writing a screen play about the Rat Pack of the Post Internet Book, etc. I need to set up some priorities. I am also faced with a potential opportunity with Yahoo, managing My Yahoo site. I feel kind of blah right now, because I haven’t sat down and figured out what’s important to me, priorities to improve and how to measure success. I know this sounds like Intuit speak, but it is a good framework to use.

Georgetown 2-13

Georgetown Readings

Powerful Conversations by Harkins
-Even most powerful conversations are bound to experience bad times. We all experience emotions, and therefore can easily blame someone else
– Use communication skills to manage these moments
– Characteristics of bad conversations include:
    – Unclear and poorly expressed content
    – Unfocused content marketed with lots of tangents and trying to do too much at once
    – Frequent interuptions
    – Uninterested participating and lack of active listening
    – Unexpressed feelings
    – Harsh tones or indirect language
– Swamp talk and how you get out of it
    – Drop your agenda and be open
    – Understand what is driving the conversation to take a nose dive
    – Have the person tell you why an issues is important
    – Mirror and try to understand the other person’s line of reasoning
Powerful conversations:
– Should be structured
– Should be clear about desired outputs (make them measurable)
– Provide some sort of discipline
Some rules for succeeding
– Expression compassionate feelings with sincerity
– Confronting fear with confidence
– Asking clearly what is needed and Wanted
– Offering and commanding support, direction and focus
– Making it clear how everyone can win
When agenda’s don’t match, it is important to discuss what really is causing resistance. Let the whole story come out. Separate the Want from the Need
Preparing for difficult conversations
– Preparation
– Scripting
– Rehearsing
Leadership requires trust:
– the 4Cs of trust: Caring, Clarity, Consistence and commitment
– Trust begins with commitment
– Trust requires being clear and consistent
– Trust requires consistent acts of caring
– Trust requires living ones own beliefs "Walk the Talk"
Different levels of trust
1) Commitment = professional trust
2) Loyalty = personal trust
3) Belief = Total trust
Trust can break down with the Say and DO quotient breaks down
How to change organizations:
– Listen and spend time with team/employees
– Be caring and direct
– Say and Do
– Do not let strategy overwhelm people
– Be open to diversity

Steps for change (the agenda)
– Establish goals
– Focus the Senior team on defining and fine tuning architecture and process for change
– Focus all managers on the vision and objectives
– Institute a learning system (TPOV)
– Identify Passionate Champions and have them head up specific key projects
    – Highly driven and focused
    – Trusted inside the organization
    – Everyone knows how the committed they are
    – Achievement oriented
    – They are drivers
    – Don’t entertain possibility of not reaching goal

Take away:
– Last year, I realized that my team was not as high peroforming and executionable as I would have liked. So, I focused on my energy on rebuilding the team. One guys who left was known as ad-hoc man. He took on everything that came his way. Answered every request that was made of him. While he always got stuff done, I think it was difficult for him to focus. He was a passionate champaion in the sense that he was skilled and go the job done, but I think his niceness and inability to say no prevented him from being a superstar. But he decided to leave the company on his own and when he did, I saw this as an opportunity to reconfigure the team. A second person on the team was extremely passive. I tried to coach them in how to speak up more in meetings, how to take the initiative more, but they always seems to feel I was making an attack on their personality. Everyone liked this person too, but often I was asked how engaged this person really was. Eventually, they left the company. The last person just couldn’t put in the hours required, so she eventually transferred to a different group. So, in the last few months, I have hired two full-time and two contractors who are extremely process focused and strong in reaching the finish line. My job as a leader now, especially one who does have a tendency to investigate new things, is to be clearn in provideing them direction. I have to deliver on my Say Do ratio, I have to be sensitive to the fact that they want priorities to be  clear and not to change. This last part is a challenge for me because while I think I am able to focus on the ciritcal few, my boss seems to be really scattered. Especially these days. We will see.

Georgetown 2-11

So today’s lesson is learning how to share responsibility for a project and also accepting the fact that in my current environment, I will often play the role of teacher. The former came up when I have been asked to co-pilot a project with someone who has a very different thought process than me. At Intuit, they would call her Green (which is more process oriented). I could accept this, but the real problem is that this person is completely new to this discipline. I find it challenging when people are empowered to manage projects for which they know little about. Well, as I am getting into this the problem is deeper. This is like pulling the skin back on the onion. It isn’t co-piloting with someone. It is only a little bit about teaching someone. But the real problem is working with someone who does not trust others on the project. I have hired a great project manager to work for me. But my co-pilot (the fellow driver of the project) doesn’t trust the project manager enough. OK. I am getting way into the weeds here. So, why do I find it frustrating in this environment. I guess I know that I am capable of so much more. Yes, I am being given the opportunity to attend school at the same time I am working (the opportunity meaning that I can take almost a week off every month). But it feels like a step back in my career.

Today, Janice came over for breakfast and reinforced an idea I had a long time ago. Maybe I should specialize in helping people through transitions and change in their life, focusing on the fact that there are multiple mid life crises in a person’s life. Most writers — who break down life into stages — think the mid life earthquake happens once. I am convinced it is multiple times. And like the first break up with someone, the first crisis is the scariest. The hardest one to deal with.

More later..

Coaching Thoughts: 2-10

Tonight, I sent out several emails to perspective clients. One responded (a friend, Reid) within a few hours. Wanted to know what I would charge members of his team. I never thought this would happen, but I actually wrestled with what I should charge. I definately lack confidence in myself to charge on what most would consider on the high end. In the end, I proposed $300 for: 2 in person 1 hour sessions, 2 30 minute half hour phone sessions and unlimited email. In the end, I also offered a discount if more than 3 people sign up. Going through the process made me realize how challenging it is to make over a $100K being a coach. If I charged $1,000 per month per client and only had 10 clients, I would make $120K, but it sounds difficult to get that many clients. I am also wrestling with sharing my internet/marketing expertise and doing consulting vs. doing real coaching, where I am just guiding the client to reach their own conclusions. It will be difficult for me to not express my own opinions. Different topic: I want to summarize or include my nightly readings and learning into my blog. I think it would be a good way to categorize things. I also want to figure out how to jump start my team coaching career.  I do have some opportunities at Intuit, but I need to be more comfortable promoting them.

Georgetown: 2-8

Had my first coaching session with Sue today. Opened up about my habit of being skeptical about others. Tend to create distance between myself and others, by believing they can not relate to my background, to my experience. It is as if I am looking for something to trigger my skeptical behavior. It even happened today on the call, when Sue told me that she was involved with Landmark communications and the Forum.  I once went to the Forum. While I felt as if there were some good learnings to be had, I felt as if there was too much of a sell going on. I felt as if the participants were trying to pressure their guests into participating.

We also discussed how to set up the first meeting of a coaching relationship. Focus on:
– Determine what the coaching relationship will be
– Share experience coaching others or being coached
– Be aware of any barriers you put up when communicating with others
– Except any issues you think you are have, are really a part of who you are (that’s why they exist)
– For each journey, think about what you want to accomplish
– Be aware of what is going on for you when you feel uncomfortable (or in my case skeptical)

During the first week, I am focusing mainly on how leaders communicate. Am learning some good tips, such as:
– When interacting with others, think about what you can learn from them
– Focus on the facts (and not assessments)
– When making a declaration, focus on the future and where things can go, and then discuss what you can do in the present to achieve your goals.

Wrestling with what to call my company. Open to any names or suggestions.